


Nightmares on repeat.

by korlovv



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Ghost Rey, and abuse, but I won't add them until we get there, depressed ben solo, i won't spoil, major death, murder here, october/november fic, some triggers of assault, spooky reylo, the story revolves around it, there are more characters - Freeform, this is a dark/sad fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-07 17:54:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16413125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/korlovv/pseuds/korlovv
Summary: Rey Kenobi never returned home one night, the next morning nothing was there but her dead body. They tore from him his love and soul. Ben is haunted by the ghost of the woman he loved, and it won't stop until he uncovers the truth.





	1. Dead Winter

She died on a cold night of winter.

No, she was murder. Brutally and cruelly.

* * *

 

It had been nearly a week and still the police had no information available, it appeared there was no trace to follow. It didn’t matter that Ben lived in the shadow of doubt and misery, nor that he was alone again.

He was being visited constantly –mostly by his mother, Leia who would stay the rest of the night with him. – Yet no one would ever fill the void that was Rey Kenobi, the one woman he would always love.

He was returning from a trip he delivered to Michigan when he received her call; that was the last time he heard her voice live and fresh.

 _“Sweetheart, I’ve missed you!”_ rang her voice as soon as he picked up the old flip phone.

_“I love you.” was his greeting every single time she called him._

_She giggled down the line and Ben instantly remembered her freckled face as she smiled._

_“Where are you?”_

_“I’m about half an hour away from Montana, I was about to call you just so you knew that I wouldn’t pick you up.” he said tensely, gripping the steering wheel harder._

_She huffed but her tone remained happy._

_“It’s fine, I’ll walk home. Just don’t take long because I have a good news for us!”_

_It was past 8 pm and a woman walking alone late at night in the dark streets of Montana was no good. It made Ben uneasy to the core._

_“I’ll call Finn so he can make an exception today and walk you home” said Ben totally ignoring Rey news._

_If Ben would have been with her he could have specially appreciated Rey’s visible eye roll._

_“He can’t. I believe he has some work to do on his thesis, and plus Rose also needs his advice on_ – _”_

_“Then I will call Han to do this favor for me.”_

_“Ben, you don’t even talk with your father!”_

_“Leia will make sure he agrees, plus he adores you more.”_

_“I know how to defend myself, thank you!”_

_He stopped at a red light, easing the big bus into the road, it had started to rain the moment he did so. “If you don’t want me to call someone then wait for me at your building entrance, it’s going to take me at least 40 min since it started to rain here.”_

_“Ben, don’t waste yourself. You are tired from driving all day and I know my techniques. I’ll meet you home with fresh oatmeal cookies you so love.”_

_“Rey, wait for me in_ –”

_“I love you.”_

If only he had arrived earlier then she would still be alive. If he would have picked her up that night and be embraced by her warmth. He was surrounded by cold now.

* * *

 

He got home with fear in his heart as he noticed the lights were still off. He opened the door only to realize that everything was in the exact spot as they were left this morning. He called out to her but nobody ever answered. He raved his phone only to be greeted by her voicemail over and over again.

* * *

 

By 10 pm the freak show began.

When Ben noticed that things were wrong he immediately called Leia; _she would know what to do._

When she arrived pale faced at their door she hugged her son and smoothly calmed him down, as she once did when he was starting his adolescence and the outburst would tear him apart.

“Ben, have you called the police?” she asked quietly.

His heart pulsed at a mighty speed, the fear clumping on his throat that if he didn’t gulp saliva he might have chocked there.

“Ben?”

The sounds were dim and the light made it harder to stare at the frown his mother gave him.

“Here,” she said while placing a hot cup of mint tea. “drink this. Things will be okay. They will find her.”

* * *

 

Han got there by 10:30 with Uncle Chewie by his side, both with pain in their faces and worry in the crease at their foreheads. For the first time in such a long period Han did not say a word and decided to hug his son tightly as he sobbed into his shoulder.

Ben had the tendency to black out in moments of panic or hard situations, it permitted him to either cool himself down or unleash the disaster. At the moment he did not even register his own father smoothing his short hair around his ears, for all his mind could scream was: _Rey, come back to me._

“She will appear, kiddo.”

* * *

 

The moment Ben met Rey was the time the planets aligned and the world decided to create balance. She was just arriving to Montana for the first time and she was excited for what new wonders college would bring. She decided to ask the bus driver for which stop was the correct to take; but was left with a new doubt. _Who are you?_

That led her to appear at his station every single day with a new question about Montana, which would eventually led her to snuck out his name first and later on to their first date.

Han had loved her the moment Ben introduced her to them, she was just like him but far prettier and younger. The connection was visible and mighty, pretty much the relationship Ben wished he could have had with his father.

Yet, it didn’t bother Ben that it was Rey who had the delight of being around Han.

* * *

 

 By 1 am their tiny apartment was filled with cops and their red-blue colored lights.

“Why have you done nothing!? Where is Rey!?” demanded Leia to the detective.

The old man sighed and retreated to his chair, far away from Ben. There was a time in which Ben would have punched Luke Skywalker to death, and he would have if only his entire being and mind weren’t thinking of Rey.

_She’s in the cold. Probably wounded and frightened. They have harmed her, whoever it was that took her. I want her next to me. Please._

“We’ve already sent four patrols out in the streets and yet there is nothing. I promise that we are doing our best.” said Luke in calm tone as if trying to reassure Leia and Ben in the process.

“Nothing!” hissed Leia.

At 2 am an officer returned with a stern look, his eyes wide and small, he approached Luke slowly, eyeing Ben through the corner of his eye. The officer bent down and murmured something in Luke’s ear; as they whispered Luke’s face fell somber. Leia noticed.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

Luke cleared his throat and stared down at the rugged floor, his throat clenching at the idea.

“You are going to need to sit down, this is a rough news.”

“Quit the bullshit, Luke. What happened?” she said fisting her way toward Luke.

He paused and stared at Ben whom had found interest in the blank wall infront of him.

“They found her,” he said coldly, anticipating the fleeting joy only to be collapsed by the awful truth. “She’s dead, Leia.”

Silence filled the small room as a shriek of horror escaped her mouth, shaking her head the tears swelled in her eyes.

“That can’t be true! No!” she screamed.

“She was found in a dark alley, she was –” he paused looking back at Ben. “I don’t think Ben should hear this right now, it would ruin him.”

Leia knew he was right, but Ben needed to know. “He should know, no matter how much it breaks him.”

Luke glanced at the ground in defeat as his sister walked back to the disaster that was her son, her full height barely passing the one of seated Ben. She approached him and began by softly touching his cheek, the tears slipping from her bold eyes.

“Ben, my love. There is bad news.” She whispered.

It felt as if his mind was finally connecting with the outer world as he listened to the dry words from his mother.

“Have they found Rey?” he asked.

Leia swallowed, ready to throw the fire down at him.

“Yes,” she whispered softly. “But it’s not–”

“Where is she? Is she coming back to me?” he stood fast, reaching for the door in two strides.

Leia was sobbing at the moment. “Ben, she won’t come back!”

“Where is Rey?” he demanded.

“They killed her!”

“WHERE IS SHE?”

The moment Ben raised his voice the world seemed to blur for him, the anger creeping through his body. Luke intervened on Leia behalf.

“They have found her dead body in an alley on Jakku Avenue. It was visibly bad, by tomorrow we will have the full autopsy.”

Ben couldn’t believe a single word coming out of his uncle’s mouth. Not until he saw her with his own two eyes.

“Where is she?” he said more calmly than before.

“You can see her tomorrow as soon as the postmortem is delivered to us.”

“Where is my Rey?” the world seemed to lose its light. He slowly slipped to the ground, cold and alone.

Leia crawled toward him and cried her soul out between the arms of her only son. “I’m sorry” she whispered slightly.

“I need my Rey” he said, drifting away from the world. The sun only shone when she was around. The meaning of Ben’s life was Rey, but now she was gone.

No, she was taken.


	2. You will never be forgotten.

_“Ben, the moment has come.”_

_“For what?”_

_“Ohh, you know” she said, her tone passive at all moment. She circled him with her hands drawn behind her back. “Time for the one thing I’ve been asking you constantly this week.”_

_Ben smiled up at her and leaned back on the wooden chair. “I thought you liked my long hair”_

_She had to agree on that one. “I do. I’m into it. But it gives the wrong impression.”_

_He frowned, not fully understanding her point._

_“I mean, I look at you and my mind is warning me; he will raw you from the inside and out!”_

_“Hey, do you think I won’t?” he said trying to reach out to grab Rey’s thigh, but failed when she swayed away._

_“We both know that’s not you, Ben. You are not that rude – masochist lover; you are gentle and kind,” Her eyes never leaving Ben’s as she said each word by heart. “and if you ever tried going down the jerk route you will just end up crying and constantly mumbling for forgiveness.”_

_“I wasn’t always nice, in fact, you are the only person I am nice to.”_

_Rey smiled as she placed each thigh against Ben’s, sitting directly on his growing erection. Eyes connecting one on one as she slipped the scissors she held in her hand and placed them on the table beside them._

_She landed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth and another on his jaw, her smile true and beautiful at Ben’s eyes. Rey cradled his long face between her small hands and pressed her forehead to his, breathing in the smell of aftershave._

_“That’s why I love you. You are always protecting me, always taking care and loving me to no ends. And I want to protect you too, not just from the world but from the nightmares within.”_

_Time could have passed slowly and the world could consume as long as they held one another._

_“You must always know that I love you just how you are, Ben.” He started to kiss a trail down her neck, leaving soft bites. “Even if you keep on thinking I’m some type of fragile object.”_

_He could consume her._

_“You are to me.”_

“Ben!”

The voice of Leia snapped him out of the haze, only to realize he was blanking out again as he looked down to the undone tie around his neck. The just had returned from the funeral.

“I’m sorry, I was…” he mumbled, drifting back to what he was daydreaming about.

“Don’t worry. Finn and Rose are in the kitchen and Han is sending off the remaining guests.”

Since the news of a murder occurring in the streets of Montana it felt like a plague had invaded the Solo’s privacy. None of the family and friends were an intruder to the recent events, but most of the guest were only there for gossip.

“I’ll be on my way.”

When he arrived to the kitchen the silence was filled with sobs. Finn was crying on Rose’s shoulder mumbling incoherent sentences as the tears slipped into Rose’s black dress. All she could do was smile politely at Ben as she tugged Finn to sit up straight.

Finn was Rey’s best friend. They had known each other for a fair amount of time and the love they shared was unique and kind. Ben had grown accustomed to the presence of Finn in their apartment, for him and Rey shared the same age and college. While Rey took her route for mathematical engineering Finn had chosen digital communications; which eventually would mean they would both work late in Rey’s tiny apartment.

He missed having them there. Having to bring more than two cups of coffee home after a rough day on the bus, or barely sleeping because Rey had the tendency to laugh at Finn’s jokes.

Now it was just the two of them, and Rose who had slowly been part Rey’s world too but sadly not for too long.

“How?” mumbled Finn as he dried some fresh tears.

That was one of the questions that had kept Ben awake during most of the first days, the other was _why?_

As promised, Luke received the autopsy the next morning of the murder, and only then did Ben had the chance to see her again.

He wished he didn’t.

He broke apart in the moment he saw her pale body. _She was never pale_.

She was covered in dark purple bruises, some others transcending into other colors. They were on her neck, her arms, legs and beautiful face. Where once deep freckles were; now were hidden under purple stains. Her lower lip was cracked open, as a potential blow had been delivered.

He cried as he touched her soft hair, the color of mahogany in the woods, his fingers gliding to her cheeks which he remembered vividly with a rose tone. If he tried hard enough he could see her and think she was asleep, that she would wake up and wrap her arms around him.

That never happened.

The autopsy revealed she was beaten repeatedly but her death was marked with asphyxia. There signs of a sexual assault but there had been no penetration at all, it appeared Rey resisted her way into death.

She had always been a fighter.

Leia had to beg and drag Ben out of the morgue, his sobs worse than ever before. In the safety of their car Leia cradled Ben into her small arms, softly scratching his black locks.

“They will find whoever did this to her and justice will mark its place.” said Leia into the air as the tears slipped down.

Ben knew that wouldn’t happen. How many girls had to die in order for the police to take action? How many girls lay dead in the streets while their murdered walks freely? How many never returned home?

* * *

Ben would visit Rey’s grave every single day for the past week, always there to talk to her, tell her how his day went.  There wasn’t anything new to say but he enjoyed being there, it made him feel a bit closer to her, even if it wasn’t physical.

Ever since her death he had a month to recover from the mourning and return to work, as if that ever made sense. He had constant black outs and panic attacks, things that slowly developed after her death. Ben used to stay home and rejoice into the warmth of Rey and the subtle silence, the nice idea of forming a family. He still kept the engagement ring hidden in his clothe cabinet.

Now, he couldn’t stand a minute inside that apartment, it made the pain unbearable. Every corner reminded him of her, of her laugh, her scent, her smile.

“I miss you,” he said as he slipped to the ground infront of her gravestone, the rustic stone big and adorned with living flowers. It read with cursive letters: _Rey Kenobi. Kind spirit and generous soul. She will always be loved by her family and friends. You will never be forgotten._

“Things won’t ever be the same without you. I don’t understand anything and nothing is important anymore.” he laid his head against the cold floor, feeling the wind blow against his body. “I want to see you again, I want to hear your voice.”

The birds chirped as the sun shone brightly against the naked trees, the winter was hard on anything beautiful and ready to live. He cried against the dirt as his heart clenched in his chest, beating rapidly as the air slowly felt thinner in his lungs. It eased when he felt a cold hand softly tracing his neck, the fingers curling around the few strands of longer hair.

The touch was oddly familiar that his breathing was controlled again, his eyes shut as he opened up to whoever was calming him.

He didn’t want to open his eyes nor say a word, it felt like Rey and he was afraid that at any time the feeling would disappear.

_“Ben.”_

It was her.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a sad chapter, why do I do this?

**Author's Note:**

> contact me :)  
> tumblr. korlovv-writes  
> twitter. @ korloov


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